Bu sabah bah\u00e7ede dola\u015f\u0131rken g\u00f6z\u00fcm \u00e7a\u011fla a\u011fac\u0131na tak\u0131ld\u0131.<\/p>\n
Bah\u00e7eyi g\u00fczelle\u015ftiren, bahar geldi\u011finde \u00e7i\u00e7eklenen, ard\u0131ndan meyvesini veren o g\u00fczel a\u011fa\u00e7…<\/p>\n
Onu seviyorum.<\/p>\n
Ama birka\u00e7 ay \u00f6nce fark etmi\u015ftim ki b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fck\u00e7e dallar\u0131 evin duvar\u0131na do\u011fru yaslanmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u0130lk zamanlar insana ho\u015f bile g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor; ye\u015fillik duvara yay\u0131l\u0131yor, a\u011fa\u00e7 eve sokuluyor sanki.<\/p>\n
Fakat a\u011fa\u00e7 dedi\u011fin b\u00fcy\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n
Dallar kal\u0131nla\u015f\u0131yor, a\u011f\u0131rla\u015f\u0131yor. R\u00fczg\u00e2rda hareket ediyor. Bug\u00fcn duvara usulca dokunan bir dal, yar\u0131n s\u0131vaya, olu\u011fa, \u00e7at\u0131ya zarar verebiliyor.<\/p>\n
Yani o g\u00fczelim \u00e7a\u011fla a\u011fac\u0131, hi\u00e7bir k\u00f6t\u00fc niyeti olmadan, yaln\u0131zca b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc i\u00e7in eve zarar verecek h\u00e2le geliyordu.<\/p>\n
Bir \u00f6nlem almak gerekiyordu.<\/p>\n
D\u00f6rt-be\u015f ay kadar \u00f6nce g\u00f6vdesine bir ip ba\u011flad\u0131m. \u0130pin di\u011fer ucunu da soka\u011fa do\u011fru, bah\u00e7enin d\u0131\u015f taraf\u0131ndaki demir dire\u011fe tutturdum.<\/p>\n
Amac\u0131m basitti:<\/p>\n
A\u011fac\u0131 biraz evden uzakla\u015ft\u0131rmak, b\u00fcy\u00fcme y\u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc de\u011fi\u015ftirmek.<\/p>\n
\u00dcstelik ipi s\u0131k\u0131 da ba\u011flamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n
A\u011fac\u0131n g\u00f6vdesini incitmesin diye olduk\u00e7a bol b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n
\u0130\u015fimi yapt\u0131m, bakt\u0131m, i\u00e7im rahat etti.<\/p>\n
A\u011fa\u00e7 art\u0131k eve do\u011fru yaslanm\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n
Sonra hayat devam etti.<\/p>\n
G\u00fcnler ge\u00e7ti.<\/p>\n
Aylar ge\u00e7ti.<\/p>\n
Ben o ipi unuttum.<\/p>\n
Ama a\u011fa\u00e7 unutmad\u0131.<\/p>\n
\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o, ben bakmasam da b\u00fcy\u00fcmeye devam etti.<\/p>\n
Bu sabah g\u00f6vdesine bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda bir tuhafl\u0131k fark ettim.<\/p>\n
\u0130p neredeydi?<\/p>\n
Biraz dikkatli bak\u0131nca g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n
Aylar \u00f6nce bol bol ba\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m o incecik ip, art\u0131k neredeyse g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\n
A\u011fa\u00e7 ipi i\u00e7ine alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131<\/strong>.<\/p>\n G\u00f6vde kal\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131k\u00e7a ip s\u0131km\u0131\u015f, s\u0131km\u0131\u015f, s\u0131km\u0131\u015f…<\/p>\n Bir zamanlar a\u011fac\u0131 korumak i\u00e7in ba\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015fey, \u015fimdi onun g\u00f6vdesine g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc.<\/p>\n \u0130pi \u00e7\u0131karmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla bakt\u0131m.<\/p>\n \u00d6yle i\u00e7ine i\u015flemi\u015fti ki biraz daha ge\u00e7 fark etsem belki \u00e7\u0131karmak bile m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmayacakt\u0131.<\/p>\n Sonunda ipi ald\u0131m.<\/p>\n Ama ip gidince alt\u0131nda b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 iz ortaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.<\/p>\n A\u011fac\u0131n g\u00f6vdesini \u00e7epe\u00e7evre dola\u015fan derin bir kanal…<\/p>\n Bir s\u00fcre \u00f6ylece bakt\u0131m.<\/p>\n Sonra d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm:<\/p>\n \u0130nsan da b\u00f6yle de\u011fil mi?<\/p>\n Hayat\u0131m\u0131z boyunca bize ne \u00e7ok ip ba\u011flan\u0131yor.<\/p>\n \u00dcstelik hepsi k\u00f6t\u00fc niyetle de ba\u011flanm\u0131yor.<\/p>\n Baz\u0131lar\u0131 bizi korumak i\u00e7in ba\u011flan\u0131yor.<\/p>\n Baz\u0131lar\u0131 yanl\u0131\u015f bir yere gitmeyelim diye.<\/p>\n Baz\u0131lar\u0131 can\u0131m\u0131z yanmas\u0131n diye.<\/p>\n Baz\u0131lar\u0131 ailemiz taraf\u0131ndan, baz\u0131lar\u0131 toplum taraf\u0131ndan, baz\u0131lar\u0131 sevdi\u011fimiz insanlar taraf\u0131ndan…<\/p>\n Hatta baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 kendi ellerimizle ba\u011fl\u0131yoruz kendimize.<\/p>\n Bir korku.<\/p>\n Bir kural.<\/p>\n Bir al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131k.<\/p>\n Bir ili\u015fki bi\u00e7imi.<\/p>\n \u201cBunu yapma.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOraya gitme.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c\u0130nsanlar ne der?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSen bunu beceremezsin.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cB\u00f6ylesi senin i\u00e7in daha iyi.\u201d<\/p>\n Belki ba\u011fland\u0131klar\u0131 g\u00fcn ger\u00e7ekten i\u015fe yar\u0131yorlar.<\/p>\n T\u0131pk\u0131 benim \u00e7a\u011fla a\u011fac\u0131na ba\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ip gibi…<\/p>\n A\u011fac\u0131 eve zarar vermekten al\u0131koymu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n Yani yanl\u0131\u015f de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n Ama unuttu\u011fum bir \u015fey vard\u0131:<\/p>\n A\u011fa\u00e7 b\u00fcy\u00fcyecekti.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u0130\u015fte galiba hayat\u0131m\u0131zda da en \u00e7ok bunu unutuyoruz.<\/p>\n \u0130nsan b\u00fcy\u00fcyor.<\/p>\n De\u011fi\u015fiyor.<\/p>\n \u00d6\u011freniyor.<\/p>\n G\u00fc\u00e7leniyor.<\/p>\n Ama ona y\u0131llar \u00f6nce ba\u011flanan baz\u0131 ipler ayn\u0131 yerde kal\u0131yor.<\/p>\n Bir zamanlar bol gelen \u015fey, y\u0131llar sonra dar gelmeye ba\u015fl\u0131yor.<\/p>\n Bir zamanlar bizi koruyan \u015fey, bir s\u00fcre sonra bizi s\u0131kmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yor.<\/p>\n Bir zamanlar y\u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc d\u00fczelten \u015fey, g\u00fcn geliyor hareket etmemizi engelliyor.<\/p>\n Ve biz bazen bunun fark\u0131na bile varm\u0131yoruz.<\/p>\n \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc baz\u0131 ipler uzun s\u00fcre \u00fczerimizde kald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda art\u0131k onlar\u0131 ip olarak g\u00f6rm\u00fcyoruz.<\/p>\n Kendimizin bir par\u00e7as\u0131 san\u0131yoruz<\/strong>.<\/p>\n \u201cBen b\u00f6yleyim.\u201d<\/p>\n diyoruz.<\/p>\n Belki de de\u011filsin.<\/p>\n Belki yaln\u0131zca y\u0131llard\u0131r i\u00e7inde b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn bir ipin izi o.<\/p>\n Bu sabah \u00e7a\u011fla a\u011fac\u0131ndan ipi \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m.<\/p>\n \u0130p art\u0131k yok.<\/p>\n Ama izi var.<\/p>\n G\u00f6vdesinde derin, yuvarlak bir kanal b\u0131rakt\u0131.<\/p>\n San\u0131r\u0131m insan hayat\u0131n\u0131n en ger\u00e7ek taraflar\u0131ndan biri de bu.<\/p>\n Baz\u0131 \u015feyleri hayat\u0131m\u0131zdan \u00e7\u0131karabiliriz.<\/p>\n Baz\u0131 insanlardan uzakla\u015fabiliriz.<\/p>\n Baz\u0131 korkular\u0131 yenebiliriz.<\/p>\n Baz\u0131 al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131 b\u0131rakabiliriz.<\/p>\n Bize y\u0131llarca s\u00f6ylenmi\u015f bir c\u00fcmlenin art\u0131k do\u011fru olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na karar verebiliriz.<\/p>\n Ama ipi \u00e7\u0131karmak, izin ayn\u0131 anda kaybolaca\u011f\u0131 anlam\u0131na gelmiyor.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u0130z bir s\u00fcre bizimle kal\u0131yor.<\/p>\n Belki uzun s\u00fcre…<\/p>\n Fakat \u00e7a\u011fla a\u011fac\u0131na tekrar bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda ba\u015fka bir \u015fey daha fark ettim.<\/p>\n O izine ra\u011fmen sapasa\u011flamd\u0131.<\/p>\n Dallar\u0131 ye\u015fildi.<\/p>\n Meyveleri vard\u0131.<\/p>\n Ve h\u00e2l\u00e2 b\u00fcy\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\n Belki mesele de tam olarak budur.<\/p>\n Ge\u00e7mi\u015fte bizi s\u0131kan b\u00fct\u00fcn iplerin izlerini yok etmek zorunda de\u011filiz.<\/p>\n Yeter ki art\u0131k hangilerinin h\u00e2l\u00e2 gerekli oldu\u011funu, hangilerinin \u00e7oktan g\u00f6revini tamamlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark edelim.<\/p>\n \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc hayat boyunca hi\u00e7 ba\u011flanmamak m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fil.<\/p>\n Bazen bir \u015feye tutunmaya ihtiyac\u0131m\u0131z var.<\/p>\n Bazen y\u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn de\u011fi\u015ftirilmesine…<\/p>\n Ama arada bir durup kendimize bakmak gerekiyor:<\/p>\n Bir zamanlar beni koruyan hangi \u015fey, bug\u00fcn beni s\u0131k\u0131yor?<\/p>\n Ve gerekiyorsa ipi \u00e7\u00f6zmek…<\/p>\n \u0130zi kalsa bile.<\/p>\n \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc iz ta\u015f\u0131mak ba\u015fka \u015feydir,<\/strong><\/p>\n h\u00e2l\u00e2 ba\u011fl\u0131 olmak ba\u015fka.<\/strong><\/p>\n Bu sabah bah\u00e7edeki \u00e7a\u011fla a\u011fac\u0131ndan k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bir ip \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m.<\/p>\n Me\u011fer bazen insan, bir a\u011fac\u0131n g\u00f6vdesine bakarken kendi hayat\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcyormu\u015f.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u270d\ufe0fAli \u0130hsan Sivri hik\u00e2yeleri<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Bu sabah bah\u00e7ede dola\u015f\u0131rken g\u00f6z\u00fcm \u00e7a\u011fla a\u011fac\u0131na tak\u0131ld\u0131. Bah\u00e7eyi g\u00fczelle\u015ftiren, bahar geldi\u011finde \u00e7i\u00e7eklenen, ard\u0131ndan meyvesini veren o g\u00fczel a\u011fa\u00e7… Onu > Devam\u0131n\u0131 Oku<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[136,422,423,177,132,421],"class_list":["post-445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bu-yoldan-gectim","tag-ali-ihsan-sivri","tag-baglar","tag-buyumek","tag-degisim","tag-farkindalik","tag-gecmisin-izleri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/445","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=445"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/445\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":446,"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/445\/revisions\/446"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}