{"id":441,"date":"2026-09-01T19:29:07","date_gmt":"2026-09-01T09:29:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/?p=441"},"modified":"2026-09-01T19:29:07","modified_gmt":"2026-09-01T09:29:07","slug":"onu-anlattim-ya","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/2026\/09\/01\/onu-anlattim-ya\/","title":{"rendered":"Onu anlatt\u0131m ya"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>7 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131m, masan\u0131n alt\u0131n\u0131 kendine k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir ev yapm\u0131\u015f.<br \/>\nOyuncak mutfa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yerle\u015ftirmi\u015f, masas\u0131n\u0131 kurmu\u015f, yataklar\u0131 haz\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f\u2026 Bebeklerine ve onlar\u0131n annelerine bile ayr\u0131 yatak odalar\u0131 yapm\u0131\u015f.<br \/>\nSonra b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 bana b\u00fcy\u00fck bir heyecanla anlatmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.<br \/>\nNeredeyse nefes almadan\u2026<br \/>\nBen de onu dikkatle dinledi\u011fimi san\u0131yordum.<br \/>\nTa ki bir soru sorana kadar.<br \/>\n\u201cEee,\u201d dedim, \u201csen nerede yatacaks\u0131n?\u201d<br \/>\nBir anda sustu.<br \/>\nKa\u015flar\u0131ndan birini hafif\u00e7e kald\u0131rd\u0131 ve y\u00fcz\u00fcme \u00f6yle bir bakt\u0131 ki\u2026<br \/>\nO bak\u0131\u015fta biraz \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k, biraz sitem, biraz da \u201cCiddi misin baba?\u201d vard\u0131.<br \/>\nSonra tek c\u00fcmle s\u00f6yledi:<br \/>\n\u201cOnu anlatt\u0131m ya biraz \u00f6nce\u2026\u201d<br \/>\nYakaland\u0131m.<br \/>\n\u00dcstelik yedi ya\u015f\u0131ndaki bir \u00e7ocuk taraf\u0131ndan.<br \/>\nO konu\u015furken oradayd\u0131m.<br \/>\nOna bak\u0131yordum.<br \/>\nSesini duyuyordum.<br \/>\nAma belli ki bir yerde<strong> dinlemeyi b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/strong><br \/>\nVe beni as\u0131l d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcren, onun bunu an\u0131nda fark etmi\u015f olmas\u0131yd\u0131.<br \/>\nDemek ki daha yedi ya\u015f\u0131nda bir \u00e7ocuk bile kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki insan\u0131n kendisini ger\u00e7ekten dinleyip dinlemedi\u011fini \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcyor.<br \/>\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc belki de dinlenmek, insan\u0131n \u00f6\u011frendi\u011fi ilk \u201cde\u011fer g\u00f6rme\u201d bi\u00e7imlerinden biri.<br \/>\nBirisi bizi ger\u00e7ekten dinledi\u011finde yaln\u0131zca s\u00f6ylediklerimizi duymuyor.<br \/>\nAsl\u0131nda bize \u015funu s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor:<br \/>\n\u201c<strong>Sen \u015fu anda benim i\u00e7in \u00f6nemlisin<\/strong>.\u201d<br \/>\nBelki tam tersi de bu y\u00fczden bu kadar incitiyor.<br \/>\nBir \u015fey anlat\u0131rken kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdaki insan\u0131n akl\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015fka yerde oldu\u011funu fark etmek\u2026<br \/>\nS\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz bitmeden verece\u011fi cevab\u0131 haz\u0131rlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmek\u2026<br \/>\nAnlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u015feyi birka\u00e7 dakika sonra yeniden sormas\u0131\u2026<br \/>\nYa da s\u00f6ylediklerimizi anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak yerine hemen kendisini savunmaya ba\u015flamas\u0131\u2026<br \/>\nBunlar\u0131n hi\u00e7biri yaln\u0131zca birer \u201cileti\u015fim hatas\u0131\u201d de\u011fil asl\u0131nda.<br \/>\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc insan, \u00e7o\u011fu zaman kelimelerinin duyulmamas\u0131na de\u011fil, <strong>kendisinin duyulmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 hissine k\u0131r\u0131l\u0131yor.<\/strong><br \/>\nSan\u0131r\u0131m ili\u015fkilerde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z pek \u00e7ok sorun da tam burada ba\u015fl\u0131yor.<br \/>\n\u201cBen \u00f6yle demedim.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cSen beni yanl\u0131\u015f anlad\u0131n.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cBir dakika, \u00f6nce beni dinle.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cBen daha s\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc bitirmedim.\u201d<br \/>\nNe kadar tan\u0131d\u0131k c\u00fcmleler\u2026<br \/>\nOysa ger\u00e7ekten dinlemek, kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdakine hak vermek de\u011fildir.<br \/>\nAyn\u0131 fikirde olmak hi\u00e7 de\u011fildir.<br \/>\nDinlemek;<br \/>\n\u201c<strong>Senin ne d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc anlamaya de\u011fer buluyorum<\/strong>.\u201d demektir.<br \/>\nBelki sayg\u0131n\u0131n en sade h\u00e2li budur.<br \/>\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc do\u011fruluk da, samimiyet de, empati de \u00f6nce burada s\u0131nan\u0131yor.<br \/>\nKar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdaki konu\u015furken ger\u00e7ekten onun s\u00f6ylediklerini mi anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yoruz?<br \/>\nYoksa kafam\u0131z\u0131n i\u00e7inde kendi cevab\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 m\u0131 haz\u0131rl\u0131yoruz?<br \/>\nHakl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kmaya m\u0131 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yoruz?<br \/>\nSavunmaya m\u0131 ge\u00e7iyoruz?<br \/>\nKonuyu kendimize mi \u00e7eviriyoruz?<br \/>\nBazen insanlar birbirlerini \u00e7ok sevdikleri h\u00e2lde birbirleriyle konu\u015famaz h\u00e2le geliyorlar.<br \/>\nBelki sevgileri azald\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan de\u011fil\u2026<br \/>\n<strong>Birbirlerini dinlemeyi b\u0131rakt\u0131klar\u0131ndan<\/strong>.<br \/>\nSonra biri daha \u00e7ok anlat\u0131yor, di\u011feri daha \u00e7ok savunuyor.<br \/>\nBiri \u201cbeni anlam\u0131yorsun\u201d diyor, \u00f6teki \u201cama ben seni dinliyorum\u201d diye cevap veriyor.<br \/>\nOysa dinlemek, sessizce s\u0131ran\u0131n bize gelmesini beklemek de\u011fildir.<br \/>\nDinlemek, kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdakinin d\u00fcnyas\u0131na birka\u00e7 dakikal\u0131\u011f\u0131na misafir olabilmektir.<br \/>\n\u00dcstelik bunun i\u00e7in b\u00fcy\u00fck ili\u015fki kitaplar\u0131na, ileti\u015fim seminerlerine, uzun uzun teorilere de ihtiya\u00e7 yokmu\u015f.<br \/>\nBazen yedi ya\u015f\u0131ndaki bir \u00e7ocuk, masan\u0131n alt\u0131na yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck evden kafas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p tek c\u00fcmleyle \u00f6\u011fretebiliyor:<br \/>\n\u201c<strong>Onu anlatt\u0131m ya biraz \u00f6nce\u2026<\/strong>\u201d<br \/>\nHakl\u0131yd\u0131.<br \/>\nAnlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<br \/>\nBen duymu\u015ftum.<br \/>\nAma dinlememi\u015ftim.<br \/>\nVe belki de hepimizin zaman zaman kendimize sormam\u0131z gereken soru \u015fu:<br \/>\n<strong>Kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdakini ger\u00e7ekten dinliyor muyuz, yoksa yaln\u0131zca konu\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131n bitmesini mi bekliyoruz?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><em>\u270d\ufe0fAli \u0130hsan Sivri hik\u00e2yeleri <\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>7 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131m, masan\u0131n alt\u0131n\u0131 kendine k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir ev yapm\u0131\u015f. Oyuncak mutfa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yerle\u015ftirmi\u015f, masas\u0131n\u0131 kurmu\u015f, yataklar\u0131 haz\u0131rlam\u0131\u015f\u2026 Bebeklerine ve<a href=\"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/2026\/09\/01\/onu-anlattim-ya\/\"> > Devam\u0131n\u0131 Oku<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[136,414,416,415,413,417,418],"class_list":["post-441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bu-yoldan-gectim","tag-ali-ihsan-sivri","tag-anlamak","tag-cempati","tag-deger-vermek","tag-dinlemek","tag-saygi","tag-sevgi"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=441"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":442,"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/441\/revisions\/442"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buyoldangectim.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}